Ten Top Things Photogs Want to Implant in Your Mind

If photographers could control your thoughts:















1. This would look great on my wall. Right above the sofa. It's going right in my shopping cart. It is a sure thing this is going to go up in value. I think I will collect all his art.















2. I would really love this hanging on the wall behind my office desk.












3. I want to put this right on my magazine cover.




















4. I think this would work great for an ad for my business. It will pop right off the page.














5. This picture would be great for my announcement. I wonder if he does cards, postcards and matching stamps?
















6. My customers would love a calendar like this and it would promote my business for a year.















7. This photo would be a great book cover. I am going to make contact right away.
















8. Wow this would be perfect in the movie I am making.















9. I really want this on my business card, people would be sure to keep it.














10. I could surprise my love with a card while I am away so she will think of me.

Top Ten Dumb Photography Questions.

I really enjoyed an article on Wild Shots, and it inspired me to write this.
Really, I am much politer than this when I answer questions. But sometimes I have considered answering like this.

1. Did you use Photoshop? No, that is the raw image out of the camera.

2. Your camera takes great photos what kind of camera do you use? If I put the camera on the ground what kind of pictures would it take.

3. Did you take that picture? No, I copyright everyone’s pictures. Actually, KoKo the monkey took this one.

4. I would like to sell your picture as wall paper can you send me a high resolution image? Sure, as soon as I take some pictures of flying pigs.

5. What camera settings are using? I don’t know I just twist the dials.

6. What is the best picture you have ever taken? The next one.

7. Will you teach me how to use the camera, I have an hour next week? Sure, I can condense everything I learned in 40 years in an one hour lesson.

8. Where do you take such spectacular pictures? Could you move over a second you just blotted out my picture with your face.

9. What type of film do you use? Well, this camera is digital, so I buy it from Polaroid.

10. Do you mind If I borrow your camera, I am going to my school reunion party? Sure, but I require a rental fee of 10,000 dollars.